When you long for someone close, but relationships never seem to start. Why loneliness sometimes becomes a lasting state and what you can change.
Loneliness does not always mean there is nobody around. You can have a job, friends and family and still feel alone. And sometimes loneliness is very specific: you long for someone close, but relationships never quite begin, or they end before they have properly started. That is what I want to talk about here.
When the door seems open, but nobody walks in
Many people who come to me because of loneliness say something similar: “I am open, I talk to people, but nobody stays.” Dates end after a few meetings. It feels as if there is an invisible wall between you and others. Or, the opposite, you only attract people who are not ready for a relationship.
The energy causes
Most often I see old wounds that have not healed. A painful divorce, a betrayal or a loss leaves a mark, and the person closes up without realising, so that it never hurts like that again. On the outside they are warm, but inside the door is locked. Another common thing is fear: of being rejected, of losing your freedom, of repeating your parents’ mistakes. Sometimes there are heavy thoughts from other people too, especially when someone very much does not want you to be happy with somebody else. And sometimes it is an ancestral or personal karmic lesson, where loneliness is not a punishment but a time to understand something.
How this differs from repeating relationships
If your relationships keep ending in the same way, I have written about that separately, in the article on karmic lessons in relationships. Here I am talking about something else: when there are hardly any relationships at all, when you have been alone for a long time and no longer know why.
What you can do right now
Be gentle with yourself. Loneliness often comes with the thought “something is wrong with me”, and that thought only closes you up further. Write down how your last close connections ended and what you felt at the end. Notice whether there is a common feeling. Find something to do where you are among people without pressure: a club, volunteering, group walks in nature. And most importantly, do not choose a relationship out of fear of being alone. Such relationships usually bring more pain than loneliness itself.
If loneliness has turned into hopelessness and you have thoughts of harming yourself, call 112 straight away or a crisis line (in Lithuania, Vilties linija 116 123). At a time like that, bioenergy healing is not the first step.
Loneliness and being alone
I want to separate two things. Being alone can be good and necessary. Sometimes after a divorce or a hard period a person needs time for themselves, to recover and to hear themselves again. That kind of quiet heals. Loneliness is something else. It hurts, it feels like emptiness and longing, even when there are people around. If you feel good in your own company, there is no need to rush to change anything. But if loneliness weighs on you, if the evenings feel endless and holidays are especially hard, it is worth looking deeper. When a person feels whole inside again, they no longer look for someone else to fill an emptiness. Then the relationships that come are different too: lighter, equal, without the fear of loss. This does not happen in a day, but the direction becomes clear.
How we work
During diagnostics I look at what keeps you closed: an old wound, a fear, someone else’s energy or a karmic lesson. What can be released, I release, and what needs to be understood, we talk through calmly. A consultation with a conversation lasts 1–1.5 hours.
If you would like to talk, give me a call. The first phone conversation is free, and after that we can meet at my studio in Kaišiadorys or work remotely.
Karma is the sum of past actions, and its consequences affect us today. I find out which lessons you brought with you and what keeps repeating, so you can let it go and move on.
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