Why am I dreaming about my deceased mother or father? A calm look at what these dreams mean, when they comfort and when to listen closer.
“Why am I dreaming about my deceased mother?” “Why have I been dreaming about my late father night after night?” I hear these questions often, sometimes in a quiet voice, as if the person were ashamed to ask. There is nothing to be ashamed of. Dreaming about a loved one who has passed away is one of the most natural human experiences, and most of the time it is not a bad sign at all. In this article I will explain how I understand such dreams, when they simply bring comfort, and when it is worth listening to them more closely.
Dreaming about my deceased mother or father: a simple explanation
When we lose someone close, the bond with them does not break in a single day. We lived alongside them for years and decades; they were part of our everyday life, our voice, our habits. After a loss, the mind and heart go on processing that bond for a long time, and dreams are one of the ways this happens. That is why a mother or father so often appears in dreams in the first months after the funeral, on anniversaries, on All Souls’ Day, birthdays and holidays, or when life is hard and you badly miss their advice. Psychologists call this part of grief, and I fully agree. Such a dream does not foretell anything bad and does not mean that “something is going to happen”.
Peaceful dreams and restless dreams
Many people tell me about dreams they wake from in tears, but also with warmth. Mum is smiling, hugs them and says everything is fine. Dad stands by the gate, waves and walks away. Grandma is back in her kitchen and it smells of pancakes. Dreams like these usually bring relief, and I see them as a peaceful farewell. It is different when the dreams are restless and keep repeating for months: the loved one seems confused, is searching for something or asking for something, cannot find the way home, or stays silent and looks sad. Sometimes, at the same time, a presence is felt at home that does not comfort but weighs heavily. These are the cases worth looking at more closely.
People also often ask me about folk beliefs. Is it bad if my late mother calls me to go with her in a dream? Does it mean something is going to happen? I understand where these questions come from, but I want to reassure you: in all my years of work I have not seen such a dream foretell anything on its own. Most often it reflects your longing and your wish to be close again. In the same way, there is no need to fear it if your loved one asks for food in a dream, feels cold or is looking for their belongings. This more often shows that something was left unfinished, and it can be answered calmly.
The energy perspective: what is left unfinished
Having worked with people since 2010, I see that restless dreams often have something unfinished behind them. You did not get to say goodbye because the death was sudden. The last conversation was an angry one. An apology or a thank you was never spoken. Sometimes the one who is grieving holds the bond too: they miss the person endlessly, talk to a photo every day, cannot let go, and that pain seems to keep the departed from leaving in peace. And sometimes the soul itself has not yet moved on and remains between two worlds. Such a soul is not angry and does not want to cause harm. Most often it is simply confused, like a person lost in an unfamiliar city. This is not frightening, and it is not a punishment for you or for them. It is simply a situation that can be completed calmly and with love.
What you can do yourself
First of all, do not be afraid of these dreams. In the morning you can write down what you dreamt and ask yourself: what would I like to say to them? Write a letter and put into it everything you did not get to say: thanks, an apology, forgiveness. Read it aloud at the grave or at home with a candle lit. If you are a believer, you can have a Mass said or simply pray in your own words. Talk about the person with those who knew them, and remember the good things and the funny stories. And allow yourself to go on living. Joy is not a betrayal. Your mother or father would surely not want you to stop living because of them.
If the dreams are restless, before sleep you can say silently or aloud: “Thank you for everything. I love you and I let you go. Go in peace.” This is not a spell. It is simply permission, which both you and they sometimes need very much. For many people the dreams become calmer within a few evenings. If many of your loved one’s belongings are still at home and you cannot bring yourself to touch them, start with one small thing and give it to someone who will use it.
When to talk to a doctor or a psychologist
Grief is natural, but sometimes it becomes too heavy to carry alone. If many months have passed and you still cannot sleep, eat or work, if you are gripped by despair or an emptiness that does not lift, please see your GP or a psychologist. Prolonged grief can turn into depression, and there is effective help for it. Bioenergy healing can complement their work, but it never replaces it. If you have thoughts of harming yourself, or a wish to “go to them”, call 112 straight away or a crisis line (in Lithuania, Vilties linija 116 123, open 24 hours). Abroad, call your local emergency number.
How I can help
During karma diagnostics I use a dowsing rod to see what still ties you and the departed together: unfinished matters, guilt, longing that has turned into a weight, or a soul that has not yet moved on. If the soul is still lingering, I help it leave calmly and with love for where it now belongs. If a restlessness is felt at home, I can cleanse the space. The bond with your loved one does not disappear; only what was weighing on it does. People often tell me that afterwards their mother or father appears differently in dreams, calm and full of light, or the dreams simply settle. You do not need to prepare anything or believe in anything. It is enough to come as you are. I work at my studio in Kaišiadorys or remotely from a photo by phone, WhatsApp or Messenger, wherever you live.
If these dreams are not giving you peace, give me a call. The first phone conversation is free. You can simply tell me what you are dreaming, and I will tell you whether my help is needed or whether time and gentleness with yourself will be enough.
Karma is the sum of past actions, and its consequences affect us today. I find out which lessons you brought with you and what keeps repeating, so you can let it go and move on.
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